Why do people fear a zombie outbreak? You serious, I mean these creatures move at a baby crawl. (Geek note: I said zombies not humans infected by a rage virus. Then only the gamers will survive.) That's like being frightened of the slower moving Blob, hell, paraplegics move quicker than that. I've been more scared of a fat chick riding me and suddenly falling over. Which similar to a zombie attack is very slow with a lot of grunts, except much sweatier. Even a fat woman with diabetes could walk away from this without a scratch, but as with fat people when they see others enjoying a feast they must divulge. Surprisingly this could be the first worldwide tragedy that can be handled in the redneck way, which is a bottle of liquor, pack of cigarettes, shotgun and a porch. Just sit back and enjoy the fireworks. I'd probably go hunt down all the people I hate and hope they're infected just so I can blow their brains out. No dirty birdie, not that way, however most of the people I hate blew my brains out at some point. Shit even if they weren't infected I'd shoot them anyway and claim they grunted "Brains" at me. Nobody puts Kenny in a corner, and I'd totally shoot zombie Patrick Swayze just for shits and gigs.
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