Here's a picture of a dumb chink. Happy Jewlidays. I'm out.

Fertility Pop

Bear with me and bare it all for me, we're taking a small trip through time. Jazz starts up and parents warn their children to stay far away from it because they will turn into crazy homeless potheads. Then from another black guy comes Rock 'n' Roll (which white people then steal), parents then warn of everything from death to drug addiction to devil worshipping, etc., etc. Heads up, the blacks are up to it again...here comes rap. Never has a mother of a fat daughter been so scared before. Parents then decided rap would lead to a world of gangs and crack. Side note: Anyone notice the pattern of parents who lied and didn't support their children's dreams, but it's not they're fault, right? Back to my point, where are all the parents lying to their kids about becoming a pop star? Maybe warn them of the truth? Inform them that after 2 albums they will become extremely annoying, be forced to lie about sexual preference (yeah you Bieber) and be abused more than someone walking into a door that says pull. Perhaps the only good thing about being interested in pop is the fancy landscaping in the pant area, thanks pop.

Drink Up, Sit Down

Fine lets do this. S-H-O-T-S!!! SHOTS, SHOTS, SHOTS!!! I'm not saying it's smart to drink and drive, but I wouldn't discuss a person's termination unless they were a professional driver. D&D (sorry geeks not Dungeons and Dragons-but feel free to contact me if you prefer to roll a 20 sided die in order to figure out where I'll stick my Level 9 Love Staff) should inform you that the person is retarded, it should not determine their work performance. "He endangered the lives of two others in the car" Ooh yeah totally, those adults clearly could not make an adult decision and say "Hol up, nigga's drunk B.". It's like when everyone got mad at R. Kelly for giving a little girl some yellow discipline. I'm 100% positive that since I've been 2 years old I can say I don't want someone to pee on me and I think that same mentality can tell me not to get in a car with a drunk driver. Professional athletes and celebrities aren't children, they're grown up like the rest of us and, like the rest of us, if we had big bank we'd do whatever the fuck we want too. I do whatever I want by eating Hawaiian Punch ice cubes as a meal.

Yummy

Try and guess what I had for breakfast this morning.

Bitch Bitch Bitch

Holy shit?!?!?! I got so wrapped up in Obama and switching careers that I totally did not realize people were supporting government. What the fuck happened?!?!?!? I'm not sure about you,but, the cat from Red Shoe Diaries taught me to trust no one because aliens abducted his sister and the government covered it up. Really? Can most of America be behind a bunch of rich elderly white men who don't do their jobs and only stand up and fight for tax breaks that affect their income bracket? American government has never been on the poor people side. Remember when we kicked all the poor Indians out of their own country or had the country split down the middle due to the bottom redneck half (where a lot of government comes from) wanting to keep blacks as slaves? Can everyone please rise up against the rich? They think the recession is over and feel that the working people (my dumb readers) can get through life on under $20,000 a year. Fact: Making under $10,000 is considered poverty, so, if you make $11,000 they want you to keep your mouth shut and not complain over the ever raising prices of everything.

Ghosts 'n' Stuff

I'm not asking you to read this and have to make a decision on the belief of existence in any form of way after death..... just the belief of me existing after death. Trust me no one wants a ghost form of you, I couldn't stand you in real life I certainly don't want a version of you I can't destroy. I, however, plan on spying and playing pranks after I die (if I die, I'm not sure if I'm going to let that happen yet). Dealing with this ridiculous world might not be so bad if I can fuck with people for the rest of eternity. Look, everyone just watch out after I die, I'll saran wrap every entrance in your house and make sure all the windows are open when it rains. Remember you're never alone with ghost me, I'm always watching and listening, so say good bye to private conversations, sex and pooping...... because I'm there about to levitate something. You better not bring a priest by to take care of me either, I'm not afraid to possess you and ruin your chances at that promotion you were up for. Booooo motherfucker!!!

HHEEEYYY YYYOOOOOO!!!!!!

Everybody shut the fuck up. Stop fucking shouting incoherent things especially if you aren't drunk. Drunk.. eehhh... you kinda get a pass, but sober... no you're a loud attention seeker because no one cares about you. Especially lets stop yelling at women from a distance, it's embarrassing to men and a guarantee no woman is going to blow you. "Hey you!!! You look hot!!! Need a ride?!?!" Wow how is she not already waiting for you in your bed? Thank god she didn't trip taking her pants off for you in the middle of the street at 2 in the morning. Women are no better... "WHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! I love a Carvel milkshakes!!! WHOOOOO!!!!" The avenue did not need to know that, if you're that excited about a milkshake become a hooker. At least you don't have to report your wages to the government. Can all these Neanderthals find another way to get attention please, I mean, you took a school picture at some point so your family knows you exist. Just be happy with that and fade into the background with the rest of the unintelligents. Oh this describes most of my fans, uhmmmm well don't say I never tried to tell you.