Fucking Burl Ives

I have no idea why this song's chorus popped in my head this morning or why it won't leave. Hopefully you develop the same issue.

Stubborn

1 a (1) : unreasonably or perversely unyielding : mulish
(2) : justifiably unyielding : resolute b : suggestive or typical of a strong stubborn nature
2 : performed or carried on in an unyielding, obstinate, or persistent manner
3 : difficult to handle, manage, or treat

CHICK HABIT

Maybe I've had Death Proof as my background movie for too long or maybe it's a hidden enjoyment of Serge's work. Ooohhh he said Gainsbourg's first name...ooohhh we don't know who that is. Get him!!!

Its-a-me, the third place racist

Like most normal people I always play a new Mario Party - holding on to teenage memories of a fun game - and like a normal person I play Kenny Party to it. Kenny Party is how I keep suicide at bay by smoking and drinking a/k/a weekends. Now I'm not going to review Mario Party 9 or 10 or whatever it is - its not 1 or 2 so it doesn't really matter - but I am surprised that Wario does Miley Cyrus face in it. Well..., I'm not surprised, but I would expect a landslide of chinks to raise hell - or herr - about it. Actually I'm just taken back by the most blatantly obvious things that could be considered racist - lets be honest funny - are completely ignored, though if it was hidden in the background of a stage somewhere then the read into everything too deep crew would be at arms. Maybe they're all still busy reading into everything about Jeremy Lin, focusing on opening a new bakery or nail saloon, or maybe they're organizing a race where you keep you're hands behind your back while walking single file and manage to take up the whole sidewalk sporting the ability to ignore everyone who is not Chinese while screaming loudly at other Chinese people across the street. Ugh that was a long idea, as long as Wario - Walio - comes in 3rd I'm good.

My feelings exactly.

Thank you Skyrim for knowing how I feel and allowing me to brush off a situation - not pictured, me walking away feeling better about myself.

Making my train rides more enjoyable.

Cute animals...now you care, huh?

This is the visual that dances wildly at a party leaving it burnt into your head for at least a month or so. The emotion this visual describes is somewhat along those lines or linked or hidden - it's semi-related at least, ok - because clearly the ducks are talking shit. This is what it feels like to be the odd one out. I used animals because nobody gives a toot - I hate censoring myself - gives a fuckadoodle about humans unless they give you money or head. I'm sure at some point you've been the duck and the cat, hell I've been the squirrel - not pictured but is observing and laughing to himself. Though I find it hard to be the duck because despite not having an echo, my whispers are for all to hear - which in a normal world is talking. I guess what I'm saying is that all should be willing to sit where the other shits, be that a litter box or a pond - disgusting if you've been in a body of water, everything shits in there. Or maybe I've just been bullshitting you and really needed an excuse to show this adorable picture or 2 different species that I like to pretend are on a lunch break. Did I mention I hate people...yeah it's all about the cuteness.

Looping between my eardrums. Part 2

Would you fuck me?

Yes, writing on pictures has really become my thing to do on Tuesdays.

Really?!

Really?! This is being shown as a leaked pic of the new Ass Creed. Really?! Any media outlet involved with the video game industry not ripping this apart has now become a glass breaker. And yes that means the only reason you're not thrown away is because you break glass. Is anyone seeing the same pic as me? Does no one remember Altiär in the opening of MGS when the same outlets cried out Ass Creed 2? I'm aware i just wrote about a leaked screenshot for a game coming out, but i got nothing else going on this morning. I will say though that if I'm wrong about this, I will totally eat my dick, but from the look of things I think I'll be able to order a grill cheese sandwich. Cudos to you if catching my vagina reference was on your "Things to do today" list.

Insert clever title here

Yep that's it. This is what I did with my free time. Yay me.

Meow

Looping between my eardrums.

Feces Factor

I think by far, the worst thing about my adult life is the fear I still have of shitting myself at an inappropriate moment. I mean, the aforementioned act hasn't occurred recently - at least since I first saw the government show up to take E.T. away - it's not like I pee-a-the-poop on a daily basis. I just have a fear of the unexpected nonsense - imagine having a great funny in which you laugh so hard you cum - that is the misfortune of my life. Before you judge that side note - relax guy - we all have weird things , alright, you're stitches itch when it's going to rain and I get overly excited from a good laugh. To be honest my main objective was to write about poop and make people read it, just so hopefully you'll reflect on your mortality considering you actually wasted time taking these words into your brain. Sucks, doesn't it? Go ahead it's ok, pull the trigger...no one will miss you.

Bilight

1. The only way to view Kristen Stewart... from behind (I shouldn't have to explain)
2. If you can see the sun, the sun can see you Mr. No Sparkle.
3. Never understood why vampires enjoy gelling their hair.
4. Or how they do it with no reflection.
5. Button down shirts shouldn't be that tight.
6. Stewart looks like she forgets to breathe and is constantly trying to recall how.
7. No I honestly don't know why I chose this picture.
8. No. Stop fucking asking I really don't.

Asking the hard questions that matter.

Is this my dick or my neck? And no I will not apologize.

And chicken flavor

That's right Pac-Man has done everything. Most of you are idiots (it's true deal with it) and don't remember this or are now starting petitions on why the Swan family doesn't get food product placement, but trust me, even the lesbian community doesn't want to eat anything involved with Kristen Stewart. Though she does constantly look like someone is swirling a tongue around her asshole and she's not quite sure if she approves.

Wop Wop

Alright, this has bothered me for far too long. He's fucking dying!!! I'll say it again after you take a brief moment to really look at the box art. See it now? He's fucking dying!!! First, check out Mario's slim and younger look in 80's. Exhibit B, why did he decide to fling a fireball at/through/whatever a fire proof brick wall since he's falling into lava anyway? It's clearly Bowser's castle, but why display the hero of your tale dying in the final stage of a world? That's like the bible displaying a cross on its cov.....uhmmm...never mind...I'll change that subject. (Though the bible would be way more enjoyable if it was more like American Beauty) Oh, Bowser loves lava by the way, rumor has it that he uses the stuff like K-Y. Where did you think all those Koopa Kids came from? There's no Mrs. Koopa so I'm looking over in Wiggler's direction. I doubt they're Peaches kids, but there is a chance Bowser has raped her during each kidnapping. Mario doesn't seem like an open-minded Italian, so he most likely would have left her after he found out. Luigi is open-minded thats why he's so thin and neat. Ugh, where was I? Oh, I still don't understand why he's jumping to his death, I feel the flagpole grab would have seemed for logical and made it much easier to make Luigi gay jokes.

Dumb as a post

This is why religion can't be taken seriously.