Bob Ross

To make sure you always remember who this is, pretend his birthday is 9/11.

Nuff said

Yes I've been watching a lot of shit on Youtube lately.

Make Monday more gooder

Listen to more Hard n Phirm.

The Animal Kingdom Come

Ok ok here's a little back story so i don't seem as lonely, depressed, insane, etc., etc.(dark lonely thoughts like gothic high school kids). So I'm talking to my cat and I let her know "If you keep acting with this laxadaisy attitude and anti-social behavior, heaven will not accept you and cast you down floating on your back for eternity!". I yelled a little, yeah(I apologized) and bee tee double u she hates being upside down. Odd thing is I don't believe in God, but yet I believe in her afterlife. Maybe my belief that no one human is innocent or that I'd rather believe in a fat cat wearing robes, sandals on only the back paws, lounging on his back within a bed made of clouds and with a food and water bowl for the eyes to see. Yummm that screams adorable which is what my little princess deserves. Bye bye masculinity.

Falling Down

In case you haven't seen this film in a while or are just a fucking waste and have never seen this, then do yourself a favor and watch Falling Down. Also after you are satisfied with your viewing pleasure, please feel free to re-enact any of the scenes. Preferably spray painting stick figures between breasts and question the prices at your local convenient store.

Imma bout to go H.A.M.

1. I can't believe we have the same shirt.
2. Got my mind on my creamsicle and my creamsicle on my mind.
3. Louie Anderson was so gangsta back in the day.
4. I can't tell if he's Chinese or not.
5. Gollum always hated the stupid fat hobbit.
6. I think he has a tummy ache.
7. California Roll Love.
8. The back of his knees feel like a Russian bath house.

Happy Monday

Listen to more Flying Lotus.

Long live Ignatz Mouse!!! Down with Krazy Kat!!!

Twats

1. So Kenny, why don't you take most women seriously again?
2. Finally a place to put my drink.
3. Linda Blair must be proud.
4. They look like they fell while running extremely fast.
5. Do me crab style.
6. I think the one on the left is being weighed down by her teeth.
7. If you put your ear to their vaginas you can hear the ocean.
8. Cirque De Soleil Gone Wild
9. Thank you yoga.

Insight

I think one of my biggest fears is that God might be real. Not due to the life I live that goes against all of God's religions, but when he reaches out to warn us of impending doom, no one will believe whoever he speaks to. Nothing sounds more dickulous than a person screaming about how they have spoken with God and there's trouble a brewing. The most common thing to do is ignore the stranger and if it's someone you know, you should proceed to stop talking and avoid them(trust me most of the people you know should be avoided, including yourself). Let's face it, no one would bat an eye at a Godly warning unless Twitter verified God's account or God had a trendy Facebook page with a more than socially acceptable amount of friends. Hearing the "Voice" is about as creditable as aliens, bigfoot, ghosts and a once again attractive Christina Aguilera, however there are more books and TV series' claiming them to be real than the almighty one. All I know is that the last thing I want to put my faith into is humanity listening to and trusting one another, it's a tad easier to believe in God.

Wrassling

1. Did you see me cumming?
2. Eye-Ball
3. Never hanging out with Andy Dick again.
4. Doesn't count unless the shoulders are down.
5. Jake The Snake will try anything these days.
6. I bet they wrestle to Elton John's "Can You Feel The Love Tonight?".
7. That's a cock block.
8. Notice what a gentlemen he is and supports the neck.
9. Not what I had in mind when I said "Get your head into it".
10. Is that a Teddy Bear face on his earmuffs.
11. Charlie Sheen will snort coke off anything.

Insane Clown Pussies

1. Does the one on the right have a cock? Not in her hand.
2. I think you spilled some gravy on you.
3. Still don't believe in abortions?
4. I rather fuck Otis(If you don't get that fuck you)
5. The Olsen twins have really lost it.
6. Casey Anthony months prior.
7. As per legal issues: That is not my child.
8. Guess they opened a Hot Topic in the trailer park.
9. Jack Skellington never pays alimony.

Yes that's right, in case you forgot...James Earl Jones was in Conan.

And you thought there wasn't a snack for alcoholic lady strikers.

Don't tie me up, tie me down.

Bondage, humiliation and domination...oh my!!! You mean I can tie a woman up and force her to do what I want?!?!?! Sign...Me...Up!!! Or maybe call a therapist and get me on some good medication for these thoughts of strangling things with things to feel things(crazy). I guess it's not fun every time, because to be honest if you enjoy fucking this way then just get a job at the morgue, that's profit sex. Everyone has a fetish, hell I assume there's someone out there that gets off to people spelling difficult words. Having someone immobile though is like fucking a bag of wet sand and having been drunk on the beach it's not all that great. Mouth gagging is fun, but not in the bedroom I'd prefer it more maybe at dinner time or when I'm watching something, you know when it's convenient for me and my ears. I understand this street goes both ways ladies, but I'd prefer not to talk about the things I've had shoved inside me(the things I do for head), but something about spanking a grown man with a paddle while his wrists are tied..... is kinda embarrassing. I know that's what humiliation is (dickhead readers), but it's odd when you lock eyes with a stranger who has spotted you in a park at 3 in the morning getting disciplined for being a "bad boy". I bet if Frank Sinatra was still alive he could write a kick-ass song about that.

Hysterical?

1. She just realized she forgot her red shirt.
2. At least the Knights of Templar are looking better (except those two moms, we see you)
3. Guess they really wanted that rapture.
4. I have never seen a sporting event with no male fans...
5. Oh no wait, I found Waldo behind the girl who looks like she's from P.O.D.
6. Open your mouths...Jesus is cumming.
7. Hop Suisse Hop Suisse clap clap clap.
8. Semi-attractive disaster relief.

Andy Warhol's "Jay Leno"

The dreaded erection.

So for a woman, isn't seeing an erection a compliment? Well from someone you know, if it's a stranger then you're either about to have fun or get raped (rape is also implied when the person is kissing you with their eyes open). Being yelled at for an erection is like getting yelled at for cumming before you, obviously as the woman you're the more attractive one and that should be a given. Granted the compliment involves a piece of meat filled with blood that is looking to be inserted in one of your orifices, but it's a compliment none the less. Boggles me that showing an erection is a social faux pas and I should be able to control it yet I have to spend the whole night listening to you complain how you broke the seal and constantly need to pee every ten minutes. At least I'm just popping something that I can move and hide, I'm not using a dumb annoying voice to whine about something you should be able to control since potty training. There is no erection training, I tried to teach a class on the subject at the Y but it just resulted in more restraining orders.