Back Door Beauty

Never before have I felt bad for a waitress... that was until me and my female accomplice arrived. Like two children in a candy shop, but instead the candy happened to be an innocent young girl within earshot. Though we finished our meal over 2 hours ago and I was still nursing a White Russian (haha), this woman was greeted out of the corner of her eye by 2 people crammed into one side of a booth undressing her with their eyes. I know, not that bad, but then we opened our mouths...each horrific sexual depictions, loud enough for her to hear and more exciting and creative than the last. However due to the repeated returns and glances (plus the cops were not called) I do believe our sexual heckling was appreciated...though I still took a bath when I got home to scrub off the dirtiness.

Un-fattering Appeal

I love the female figure, and yes a woman does look beautiful when pregnant, however... the pregnancy look can be unflattering at times. I know you dig the flapper look (I adore it), but maybe it's not the best time. A woman should not look like an out of work wrestler or... shudder to think (wasn't that the only single from that awful band X French T-Shirt) your beer belly preggo body might be carrying a still born. Either way sometimes we need to hide excessive things, which is why I wear black and stay away from skinny jeans.